Thursday, December 15, 2016

things to do with your pulled hamstring (really.)

So basically, I feel great. But on the other hand, I can't bend one of my legs to do the following things:

- Put pants on
- Step into a car normally
- Crouch down to pick up something on the floor

Last night after picking up the kiddos from school, I did a not-so-elegant swan dive on a patch of black ice. If my left hamstring was a ribbon, the maneuver would have curled it into a strand of beautiful ringlets. It was a major ouch moment but after a good sleep and a day of rest, I'm 85% to being good as new. So while I get myself into the mingling mood for my husband's work Christmas party tonight, I figured I should share my newfound wealth of knowledge on this one specific topic: ways to have fun while you have a pulled hamstring:

1. ONLINE SHOPPING!

If you can't leave the house to spend money, spending money on your computer can be just as rewarding! Here's a pro-tip: play elevator music on Youtube in the background so that you actually do feel like you're in a store, and once every twenty minutes say things like, "no, thanks! I'm just browsing, " or "why do you need my postal code?"


2. VANDERPUMP RULES SEASON 2

This is the best season of any show, from any genre, from any time period. If you've seen it, let's schedule a coffee date where we can converse about Kristen's texts to Jax and Stassi's pity-party where everyone drinks the Cristal. When you finish Vanderpump Rules Season 2, resist the urge to move on to Season 3 in favour of starting Season 2 over again. When you've seen it twice, you're allowed to move on. But don't forget, Season 2 must be watched before you start on Season 4. K?! Great. You should be able to get through most of it today, while you rest your silly bum-hamstring. 


3. A SLOW AND DELIBERATE MANICURE

Take advantage of the drying time that's available to you! No longer will you be blowing air on your nails while you carefully zip up your boots, only to realize you had already destroyed them when you put on your sweater 30 seconds ago. A good, thorough manicure will make you feel pampered while you rest :) I personally suggest the colour "it's so light it almost doesn't look pink." 


Well those are my only tips for now... Maybe this isn't a "wealth" of knowledge, but I'll keep you posted if I discover any new ways to be lazy during recovery. 

I love the idea of someone googling "pulled hamstring recovery" and finding this very strange, very girly, very un-medical post featuring nail polish and reality television. For you, strange new visitor, welcome! Hope you feel better soon and remember, it's season TWO, like "TOO much drama and TOO many scandals." Also, please keep searching for medical advice and see your doctor if you feel that's right for you. 

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