what's with all the fear?

What's with all the scary business-meets-life stuff lately?

First it was my submission to Style Me Pretty, then it was first attempt at a video blog and FAQ post, and now here I am again, with yet another post about how I'm scared about moving forward so quickly.

I have to keep reminding myself that the scary stuff leads to the good stuff. Like an amazing feature, or a new way to get clients to see my personality online. But until the good part happens, it's just fear...and I'm certainly not one of those cliff diving people who inherited the thrill-seeking gene, like that Imax I saw in high school...

But when my camera suddenly gave out (R.I.P. D-7000), I had to think long and hard about my next purchase. 

The Options:
Same as what I had before.
Slightly better.

Let me be super clear for a moment: when I say best, I mean best. Like...more expensive than my engagement ring, and pretty close to what we spend each year on property taxes. 

And I don't want your view to be skewed by the blog post about my last camera upgrade, entitled: the best of the best. Because although that camera was, in a word, amazing...it could be beat. But at the time, I was reaching to be as great of a photographer as that camera would allow. 

Well since then things have changed a little bit. I have taken a bazillion photos, learned a lot, worked really hard, and I'm pleasantly surprised with my where my business stands. 

So why is it so hard to say it out loud?

My business deserves the best.

For some reason it's scary. It's another step and another declaration that I'm in this whole wedding photography thing for serious, and for the long haul. 

But who knows...(and Beans, don't cringe when you read this sentence) but maybe in a year or two, I'll be linking back to this blog post while writing another one about needing an upgrade. 

In a way, I hope it's longer than a year or two for the sake of my bank account, but in another way...if it's time to upgrade, it's means I've done something right. And I'll be proud of having to make that next step. Or at least, I'll be 75% scared and 25% proud.

Oh, and somewhat relatedly...here's a sneak peek from the lovely wedding I shot this past weekend (my very first shoot with the new gear):

P.S...if you didn't already know, putting something in italics is obviously me whispering to the internet.

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